Men and commitment… sigh!
Ok, so it’s become basically accepted as fact that finding a man who will commit is about as likely as finding a unicorn (no easy feat). The world seems to be filled with frazzled women all asking the same question – why won’t he commit?
All while wondering, how commitment works for men, and what it will take to make it happen. Maybe you’re involved in your own mind-blowing fantastic relationship with a guy, and would love to take things to the next level, but he’s just not quite there. You try to bring it up and he brushes it off with humor, or changes the subject, or perhaps you’re waiting for him to take the lead, but nothing happens.
There are a ton of possibilities as to why this could be the case, but it’s important to remember, it’s not you, it’s him. Don’t worry, there is hope! There are many things men are looking for in order to commit to a woman, even if they don’t know it. Knowing these secrets of how commitment works for men can help you to get to the next level, satisfying you both.
Learn How To Get Him To Commit To You
Use these 7 secrets to get to the next level with the object of your affection / possible commitment-phobe:
Attraction is essential. It is what ultimately separates relationships from friendships. No one wants to be in a relationship with their very best friend who they have no desire for – there has to be something more that sparks a deeper connection. There needs to be chemistry, both physically, mentally, and sexually.
Of course, this goes beyond the shape of your body, or how pretty your face is. Attraction can extend to components such as, do you lead a healthy lifestyle, and do you take care of yourself. As well, a man can be attracted by your personality and mind. It is important for a man to be attracted to you in every way, in order to have the best chance at moving forwards.
It’s easy to be around you and he can be himself around you
He doesn’t have to change or try to impress you, rather, he can just be comfortable. This is so important! We often gravitate towards those who make us feel at ease. It’s so much easier to be around someone that doesn’t come with drama, pressure, and unrealistic expectations. So if your man feels comfortable around you, it is only logical that he will want to spend even more time with you.
You make him feel good about himself
You make him feel important and valued. You respect his ideas, opinions, and values and make a point to let him know. You thank him for doing nice things for you, and go out of your way to make him feel appreciated. This can happen on a small or large scale – you can make him dinner, buy something he mentioned wanting at the store, arrange a weekend away together, etc.
Often in relationships we can get comfortable and begin to take our significant other for granted, but it is important to not fall into this pattern. Men like to be noticed and appreciated (don’t we all). Also, it doesn’t hurt to give the fragile male ego a stroke every now and then.
He knows he makes you happy
No one wants to have to wonder if they are pleasing their significant other. It is hard to commit to someone if you are unsure of their expectation, or if you feel like nothing you do it ever good enough. Which is why it is so important to let him know he makes you happy (if he does). Point out all the awesome things he does, showing him you are satisfied with your relationship.
You are different
You are not like anyone he has been with before. Think about it, all his previous relationship have ended for a reason. If you are different, you may be just what he is looking for. People sometimes say dating someone who is not your type may be the way to find your “true love”. You are unique, and this is what interests him.
You are open
You don’t have a problem sharing your feelings, or being honest. You want there to be open communication in your relationship. Men are sometimes wrongly assumed to not be expressive, or seen as never want to share their feelings- this is untrue!
Men have feelings as well, but may not be as quick to share them as a woman. He may need someone to openly express themselves to him, encouraging him to do the same. It is hard to commit to someone if you cannot express yourself openly, so this is key.
You don’t nag
You don’t push or pressure him. Relationships need to move at a pace that is comfortable for both people. Commitment does not automatically happen because you want it to. It is the result of communication, consideration and action. Do not give him an ultimatum as this can deter him, from what you are ultimately trying to achieve – being together.
Why is He Afraid To Commit?
Commitment is a tricky concept, it is a true balancing act that can be quite a challenge. But these secrets about how commitment works for men can hopefully serve to get your relationship on the right path. It is easy to assume that men are opposed to commitment, but this is hard to accept as truth.
It’s human nature to want companionship, happiness, acceptance, and love. When someone is wary of commitment, this is often because they fear they may end up with the wrong person, rather than fear of commitment itself. However, sometimes people can be resistant to commitment for a reason, and the two of you are simply not meant to be together. That is an important distinction to make. Committing to someone is not about an impulsive or hasty decision, it is the dedication and decision to create a life together.
Best of luck!